ODE TO FRANK


Does our Club Need Insurance ?
 
Last month's jaunt  is now all talk,
Of what occurred along this walk,
This walk along the river bank
With leaders far too old to spank.
This tale might sound a tad distressing,
Involves – like Toad, River Banks and messing.
Frank spying some discarded packing -
With thoughts of danger sadly lacking,
Poked the object with his stick,
And decided  he’d perform a trick.
What fun he’d have to try and float
Upon this raft – just like a boat.
And so it was he stepped full on,
But very soon his grip was gone.
This platform now upon the water,
He realised – that he didn’t ought to –
Try to recreate his youth,
Despite him being long in tooth.
The river being in full spate,
To step back off  ‘t was far too late,
But luckily some faithful  friends,
Quick thinking proffered their stick ends,
And as he grappled  with a twig,
Prayed hard his weight were not too big.
Now as his life before him flashed,
Others to the rescue dashed,
And as he flailed and spun around,
Was pulled to safety and dry ground.
The moral of this story being,
On River Banks when flotsam  seeing
Remember how our old friend Frank
Diced with death , just for a prank.
 
( or was he wishing he was 10yrs old again ?)
 
Jane Gilpin
April 2013



TERRINGTON WALK (AUGUST
2015)

THE WALK TODAY FROM TERRINGTON

TO BE LED BY JANICE AND JOHN

SO ALL MET UP AT WHELDRAKE SCHOOL

SOME HAPPY , SOME WOEBEGONE.

 

TOM MENTIONED THAT ‘THE WESSIES’

WOULD CLOG THE FAVOURED WAY,

AND TAIL TO TAIL ON THE ‘64

WOULD SLOW THE START TODAY.

 

THEN ALL SET OFF TO TERRINGTON,

TO BOOT UP FOR THE WALK,

BUT VERY SOON TWO MISSING FOLK

WERE SUBJECT OF OUR TALK.

 

THE WHEREABOUTS OF TOM AND DI,

HAD US ALL QUITE PERPLEXED, -

IT’S ‘WESSIES’ OFF TO T’SEASIDE,

THAT’S SURE TO MAKE TOM VEXED.

 

TEN MINUTES WENT , THEN SUDDENLY

THEY DROVE AROUND THE BEND,

WHICH MEANT THAT WE COULD SOON SET OFF

AND ON OUR WAY COULD WEND.

 

BUT – HIP HURRAH !! WHAT’S THAT WE ‘VE SEEN

A TINY ONE SEAT LOO !

SO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US,

HAD SOMETHING THEY MUST JUST DO !!

 

IF ONLY WE’D SEEN IT SOONER

WHILST WAITING FOR THE OTHERS

WE COULD HAVE BEEN MUCH MORE DISCREET,

‘STEAD OF QUEUEING WITH OUR BROTHERS.

 

JOB DONE , WE SET OFF DOWN THE ROAD

IN TOTAL JUST ELEVEN,

THE SUN CAME OUT , THE COATS CAME OFF,

THIS WALK MIGHT JUST BE HEAVEN.

 

WELL PERHAPS – WHEN THIS BIT’S OVER,

AS WE CHUNTERED THROUGH THE NETTLES,

“JUST  BASH THEM
DOWN , WITH WALKING STICKS,

THAT SHOULD THE BLIGHTERS FETTLE. “

 

THE NEXT BIT WASN’T QUITE SO BAD,

HAD YOU LEGS OF A DIFFERENT LENGTH,

JUST PUT ONE FOOT UPON THE GRASS,

THE OTHER IN THE TRENCH

 

THIS WORKED QUITE WELL , UNTIL GUESS WHO?

GOT STICKS CAUGHT UP IN GRASS   (London accent )

AND SURE ENOUGH SHE DISAPPEARED,

AND LANDED ON HER 
A------- ! (rear end  )

 

“THAT’S IT ! “ SHE YELLED ON GETTING UP,

“THAT’S ONE NOTCH ON MY STICKS,

A WHELDRAKE WALK IS NOT THE SAME,

WITHOUT SOME MUDDY SLICKS !”

 

OF SLIGHT INCLINES – EXPECT A FEW

OR SO WE HAD BEEN TOLD,

BUT THIS KIND OF CHILD PSYCHOLOGY

DON’T WORK UPON THE OLD.

 

‘COS EVERY HILL – THAT WAS  THE LAST –

WAS FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER,

AND ADDING UP THE CONTOUR LINES,

WHAT WOULD THE NEXT UNCOVER ?

 

A FLIGHT INTO THE OUTER SPACE?

A TRIP AROUND THE MOON?  -

THE THOUGHT OF SITTING DOWN TO LUNCH

BEGAN TO MAKE ME SWOON !

 

A HANDY  LOG,
AND PATCH OF SUN,

AND SHADE FOR THOSE WHO WISHED IT,

HALUCINATING WITH MY PACK -

A HANDSOME WAITER DISHED IT.

 

AS I CAME BACK TO EARTH AGAIN

TO REST MY WEARY BONES

I FOUND THE FOOD INSIDE MY BOX

BY ME WAS CAREFULLY HONED.

 

CATH KINDLY HAD SOME LITTLE TREATS,

SOME RAMBLERS FRUIT DELIGHT,

THAT SOME OF US INDULGED UPON

AND OTHERS WISHED THEY MIGHT!

 

WHEN LUNCH WAS NEATLY PACKED AWAY

WE SET OFF  -
STRAIGHT UPHILL !

“NOW JANE ARE YOU OK , MY DEAR ?

‘COS THIS WILL SURELY KILL .”

 

“YES CATH , - I’M DOING QUITE ALRIGHT,

HAVE NO CONCERN FOR ME.

I’VE  STRAPPED
MY FOOT, AND BUNIONS,

AND EVEN MY DODGY KNEE.”

 

 

“I SAW TO THEM BEFORE WE LEFT,

I’VE FIRST AID STUFF AND THAT,

I’VE BANDAGES AND PLASTERS,

A WHISTLE AND  WOOLLY HAT.”

 

NOW JANICE HAD BEEN SAYING –

“THAT IT’S NEARLY OVER NOW,

JUST AROUND THE CORNER UP THE HILL.

SEE THE SCHOOL UPON THE BROW.”

 

AND AS WE TRUDGED THE LAST HALF MILE

THE END SURE WAS IN SIGHT,

BUT JIM WAS STAYING CLOSE BEHIND,

AS I LISTED TO THE RIGHT.

 

SO ON WE WENT AND THROUGH THE SCHOOL,

‘TWAS HOLIDAYS AND QUIET,

AND ROUND THE CORNER ON THE LEFT

A TEASHOP – BLOW THE DIET !!!!

 

 

JANE GILPIN

AUG 2015